emily'smommymakeover

They just wheeled her off to surgery. My beautiful bride. My other half. The girl of my dreams.

She asked me to write this morning's post so that the experience is documented while fresh in my mind. And while I don't mind, I have to admit that I'm more emotional this morning than I thought I would be. Up until this morning, it's all been about Emily's dream of "getting back to being her". I support that dream; I encourage it. The experience with Dr. Hynes and his staff has been "warm and fuzzy". So far, this has been a wonderful experience.

But right now, with doctors and nurses all around, I'm reminded that it's not really warm and fuzzy. In fact, quite the opposite, it's very "cold and sterile." Not that that's a bad thing – a hospital should be cold and sterile, right? It's just that this is a place where people come when they are sick. Most people don't CHOOSE to go through what my bride is about to go through.

Enough about how I'm feeling. This isn't about me. Let me tell you about our morning. We had to be here by six this morning, so we got up early. Our four-year-old, Zoey woke up, gave mommy kisses and then crawled into bed

with Grandma. She knows that she won't get to spend much time with mommy over the next few days, so she snuggled into bed with grandma without a fuss. We also dropped in on our sleepy nine-year-old. He moaned and moved a bit when Emily kissed him, but I doubt he'll remember us saying goodbye to him.

At the hospital, we were shuffled from waiting room to waiting room and then into Emily's pre-op room where the nurses and doctors started showing up and doing their thing. A wonderful nurse, Janet, asked Emily to change into a really sexy hospital gown (not), and then started talking about what a perfectionist Dr. Hynes is. She was pleased to see Emily wearing her special hose to prevent clotting, saying that Dr. Hynes doesn't like it when his patients don't follow his instructions. She then went on to tell us how she used to work with Dr. Hynes several years ago when St. Joseph was a trauma hospital, and how Dr. Hynes had done amazing things with accident victims, fixing their faces and stuff. Honestly, at one point, she started to sound like she should be his PR person. But it was honest praise and genuine respect for him as a physician. Oh yes, she also mentioned how he would stand back, look at his work and fix tiny puckers in the stitching and make sure everything was just right before he was satisfied. I said, "That's the kind of doctor you want working on you."

Janet put some compression sleeves on Emily's legs, explaining that they would help push the blood back up to the heart and help prevent blood clots.

We also had a brief conversation about this blog. She liked the idea that women would have a source for researching the procedures and I mentioned that women who had gotten plastic surgery had started coming out of the woodwork since Emily started the blog. I said that I couldn't believe how many women had gotten a tummy tucks or breast work done and that no one ever talked about it. Janet replied that the privacy of plastic surgery was a whole lot worse several years ago. She said that many people went out of town to get plastic surgery done, even staying in a hotel for weeks at a time until they were healed up enough to go home. I'm just wondering how those people who don't talk about it explain their drastic change in appearance. And why should it be a secret? Is it really that different from what we do when we put braces on our kids? Of when we get lasik eye correction? For the most part, both of those procedures are about appearance.

Actually, if I'm honest, there has been a lot less judgment about this whole procedure than I expected. Everyone has been very supportive, and I appreciate that. But I can't help but wonder what people are saying behind Emily's back. I suppose people are welcome to their opinions. I just appreciate that if there are those negative opinions out there, that people are keeping them to themselves.

Sorry for the rant. Back to this morning...

We were then visited by the anesthesiologist. She was professional and nice. She explained all the drugs she would be administering and how everything would work. Emily will be getting anti-nausea drugs, a preventative antibiotic, and of course pain meds. The drug that will be used to put her under is propofol – which until a few weeks ago, wouldn't have meant anything to me. But with what happened to Michael Jackson, now I'm a little freaked out. Even Emily, who's not afraid of doctors or hospitals at all was a little unnerved by the mention of propofol and the breathing tube.

But what really got to her, when I saw actual fear and pain in her eyes, was when Janet put in the IV. Because Emily had a really bad experience with an IV several years ago, to the point where she developed a large cist from the IV, she was really nervous about it. But Janet did a wonderful job, so after that, she felt like the rest would be a breeze. I'm pretty sure I disagree. I think the whole "cutting you open" part sounds a lot scarier than a needle in the hand. :)

We got to meet another couple of nurses, one for the doctor and one for the anesthesiologist, and everybody was female. Emily commented that it would be like a big girl party in the OR – all girls . . . and Dr. Hynes.

Our next visitor was a volunteer named Rosemary who offered to say a prayer for Emily. Without going into Emily's religious beliefs, I'll just say that we're not church people. Emily considers her relationship with God a personal one. So when this stranger offered her a prayer, I wasn't sure how she would respond. I was happy to see that she not only accepted the offer, she embraced it. Rosemary's prayer was so sincere and heartfelt that both Emily and I were moved to tears. Thank you, Rosemary. Next thing I knew, I was being told to quit working (I was actually taking notes for the blog) and to kiss my wife. I looked into her beautiful brave face, kissed her lips and told her I would see her soon. She smiled and told me to get to work on the blog. :)

I'm here in the cafeteria, happy to be distracted by this blog, not thinking too much about what she's really going through. They say she'll be done around 12:30 or 1:00. I think I'll finish up here and have my own little chat with God.

-David

Comment by Rebecca:
David, you are such a great guy. I became a little teary eyed. I find myself holding my breath waiting to hear how Emily's recovery will be. Lots of positive thoughts are being sent her way!!

Comment by Dawn:
*Sniff* Tissue please!!

Comment by Melissa:
Dr. Hynes is doing my mommy makeover on Oct. 12. Reading your post has really calmed my nerves. I'm glad you posted Janet's comments, I know I picked the right doctor! I think Emily is an amazing woman for keeping this blog for others like us!

Comment by Em's Mom:
OK you guys, here is a comment from the one person who has known Emily since her first breath. I am sitting here weeping as I read
David's post on the blog. My baby is in surgery!! I'm not much of a talker so I probably don't say the words I feel as well as David does but I must comment this morning. When Emily first started talking about all this I listened and thought, she is, to me, one of the most beautiful people I have ever met so I couldn't see the need for any surgery. As I listened more and read the blogs she wrote, I started to see that my thinking was stilted by the generation I grew up in, and I started to see that, yes, this is just like when I took her to get braces and contact lenses when she was twelve.

I can't tell you how many times while being Emily's Mom that I said to her "Emily, be careful, if you hurt yourself, I'll kill you." So, for her to ask to have someone cut into her brought that thought, BIG TIME. It really has helped to know that she and David have researched this procedure so well, and have made sure she is in the best of hands while all the "surgery" thing is going on. It means everything to me that she has David with her. I know that, if there is anyone who is as protective of her as I am, it is David.

OK, so I'm not crying anymore. See, this really does help. I know that everything is going to be good. I'll just be here to do whatever I can to help care for all these beautiful McBee's that I love with all my heart.

I love being a grandma and a mom-in-law, but my most important role in life is, has been, and will always be, being Emily's Mom.

Comment by Marlene:

Hi, Emily's Mom,
I'm really glad that you posted your thoughts this morning. They were perfect and moved me to deep emotion. I suppose that we children forget that when we "grow up" we're still our parent's children, and their love somehow stretches to include our expanded life, incorporating the family we created.

David is a gem. There are very few conversations that we have ever had that he didn't mention Emily and how much he adores her and cherishes her and supports her.

Emily, well, you've gone and done it! Congratulations! I hope you're resting comfortably and enjoying having to look over your new self to see the TV from your bed!

Comment by David:
Dr. Hynes just came out to talk with me about Emily's surgery. Everything went perfectly. Faster than expected and he kept repeating "I'm very pleased." Another 45 minutes or so until I get to see her, but I feel so relieved! -David

Comment by Cara:
You are all amazing and inspirational! Your marriage is a blessing to all who see it. Your family bonds (Em's mom, you're wonderful, too!) are
a joy to behold. I was almost teary-eyed myself at reading the blog and comments. What a journey, and thank you for sharing it with us! Cara

Comment by Cara:
David & Emily, regarding other people's opinions about your process (as you mentioned, David): I have not considered having plastic surgery myself, but I have my own "extreme makeover" desires for myself. My own extreme makeover was lazer hair removal (which is only temporary, really) due to extreme hormonal problems. But, it was a huge expense that some other folks just didn't think was warranted. They didn't see the 5o'clock shadow I grew, or know that I shave my face every day. They just saw my put-together made up fresh face every day. But the times that the hair was less due to the removal, I felt so GRAND. Some aspects of my life were better, less painful, easier, if just for the months that it was lessened.

I know this is TMI, but I tell you that to say, if every person is honest with themselves, there is some aspect of themselves that cuts to their core. I know that my value as a human being doesn't come from outward appearance. But that didn't change the fact that it broke my heart to have to shave my face twice a day to go on an evening date with my husband, and go through the physical discomfort of that. It didn't help the fact that though he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, I felt less-than-feminine with the whacked out hormones growing unnatural hair. Those emotions are private pains, interfering in our perception of ourselves and can screw with our most intimate relationships.

So, though I can't imagine myself wanting to go through the pain of plastic surgery like Emily, I stand with her resolutely, supporting her wish to break free of what keeps her down, what she wished to literally shed so that the girl on the outside could look more like the girl she feels like on the inside. It is freeing. You go girl. I know what that feels like, and it is GRAND. : )

Comment by Stacy:
Emily, David, Em's Mom, Tanner and Zoey.... you have all been in my thoughts and prayers today (and the last several days). I am glad Creator had Emily in his (and the Dr.'s hands) this morning and that things appear to have gone well. I hope that the results show Emily
how much of a beautiful person, we all know her to be too... she's gonna be happy for that. :) Stacy