emily'smommymakeover

If someone were to simply glance at this blog, they might say it's a blog about a woman getting plastic surgery. As true as that might be, I hope that it can be more than that. I want mothers who are considering taking these steps themselves to have a resource that prepares them as much as possible for the journey. So today I'd like to tell you how my kids are reacting to all of this.

First, let's talk about my son. He's nine years old, and already very curious, if not a little infatuated by women and their bodies. He has teased more than once that he'd really like to have dinner at Hooters, and the half naked women on television certainly don't go unnoticed by this pre-teen. As his mom, looking at my baby boy, this breaks my heart just a little bit. But I know it's all part of growing up.

Explaining the tummy tuck to him was pretty easy. He's seen pictures of me pregnant with him, and of course he saw me pregnant with his sister, so he knows how big I got. It's not difficult to understand why the skin around my stomach is stretched out like elephant skin and won't go back to normal after losing the weight. I even grabbed the handful of skin that will be removed and showed him where the doctor would cut me and how he would sew it back together and then rebuild my naval. He really thought that was gross . . . and cool. Because gross and cool go together when you're nine.

As for the breasts, he got pretty embarrassed when we talked about that, but he was also very curious about how they would be lifted and what would make them bigger. I turned to the internet for help. I searched for some pictures of silicone implants and even found some tasteful drawings showing how and where the implants went it. Later, my husband found some actual videos of breast implant surgeries and they watched those together. We weren't sure about how much to show and explain to him, but he dealt with it very maturely and kept asking questions, so we did what we could to educate him as best as possible. Basically, we stepped into the waters little by little to see how he reacted to each new piece of information so that we didn't go into anything that wasn't age appropriate.

Truth is, he took it all in like a sponge. He was very interested, had lots of thoughtful questions and he thinks the procedure is very interesting. He even asked what other things plastic surgeons do, and what it would take to become a plastic surgeon when he grows up. He says he likes the idea of making people feel good about themselves, and he says the pay doesn't sound bad either. Motivated by breasts and money, that's a nine-year-old
for you.

My daughter, on the other hand, is basically clueless about what Mommy is in for. At four years old, the whole world revolves around her. So we tried to explain the parts of the process that would affect her. She now knows that Mommy will be going to a doctor, and that she will have to rest for several days after her surgery. We've assured her that Grandma and Daddy will play with her and take her to school and take care of her during that time, but that she'll have to let Mommy rest. As far as she's concerned, Mommy is already pretty and all of this is pretty pointless. She's so sweet.

We did find a pretty wonderful book that was written for little girls who have mommies getting plastic surgery. It's called My Beautiful Mommy. Everyone in the family really enjoyed it.

So there's the story of how my kids are dealing with the Mommy makeover. I'm proud of their positive and encouraging attitudes and I'm excited and nervous to see how they react when it's all said and done. I'll be sure and tell you all about it then.

Comment by Jenny:
Hi Emily, I've been reading your blog and I'm super excited for you. I too will be having the mommy makeover on OCT 1, 2009. I'm getting so nervous, anxious, scared, sad, happy, all the emotions you can think of, ALL AT ONCE! I'm 24 yrs old.. yes very young.. my daughter is 8yrs old. I've thought of ways to tell her what I'm having done, but I'm a little nervous about telling her because I don't want to give her that impression that plastic surgery is the normal thing to do, or give her any ideas for when she's old enough. A bit of a hypocrite? Ya I think so.... but I just think she's too young to have it plastered into her mind. I'm having a breast lift with silicone gel implants and an abdominoplasty. I've been looking at pictures online from personal experiences and I have to say its freaking me out!!! I'm 5′3 and weigh 120lbs. I don't have a whole lot of excess skin on my stomach but I have TONS of stretch marks which is what bothers me the most. What are some things you could suggest I tell my daughter, she will be home during the times I am laying in bed and she will obviously wonder what's wrong..hope you can help. Jenny

Response by Emily:
Dear Jenny,
Thank you for your comment. You are exactly the kind of person I am writing this blog for, so thank you for validating what I am trying to do.

I do want to clarify that it was never my intention to offer ADVICE of any kind here on the blog. Just like you, I'm nervous and confused about all of this too. It's a learning process every step of the way. I'm hoping that by the time my mommy makeover is complete and the blog has "told
my story" it will help PREPARE other women who have also made this choice.

I certainly don't consider myself an expert in this area, so I would say that talking with your plastic surgeon is my best advice. I'm sure that he or she has had experience in dealing with children and explaining to them the role of plastic surgery.

That said, you've read what I told my kids. My husband and I chose to be completely honest with them. We know that some people are against plastic surgery, but we believe it serves a purpose. It's important that a person feel good about themselves, and from what I've gathered, talking with other women who have had the mommy makeover, that's exactly what I expect – to feel better about myself.

As a mom, I don't like to think that my little girl will one day feel that she has to get plastic surgery to feel good about herself. And maybe that's something I will have to deal with when she's a teenager (of course, what teenager ever feels good about their appearance, right?). I'm comfortable with the fact that I can tell her that I survived without larger breasts and so will she. But I can say that several years from now, when my daughter has had children and wants to get her body back in a way that diet and exercise can't achieve, I would support her decision to have plastic surgery.

If it helps, you and I are only two of thousands of women who have made this choice. Check out this article on DocShop.com: More than 325,000 tummy tuck, breast augmentation, and breast lift surgeries were performed on women between the ages of 20 and 39 in 2006, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Breast augmentation was the most popular surgery for women in that age group while tummy tuck and breast lift ranked fourth and fifth, respectively. Overall, the statistics show an 11 percent increase in the number of these surgeries performed in 2005.

Jenny, I'm really excited for you and would love to hear how your surgery goes, so promise to check in with me in a few weeks, okay? Good luck!