emily'smommymakeover

Unlike before the surgery, the story isn't exactly chronological. Instead, I'm going to break it into different categories to tell you about my experiences. Let's start with a question that'll bore any men reading the book (so weird not to say "blog" LOL).

"How has the surgery impacted my wardrobe and shopping?"

When I started this journey I wore size 12 pants, large shirts and a size 36B bra. Today I am in a size 8 jeans, small shirt and a 36D bra. Wowzer! I have had to go through my closet several times and mentally convince myself that it's okay to get rid of the old stuff. I had pants and shirts from 10 years prior that were so out of style they started to become in style again! I was tired of cinching up my pants with a belt. Why did I have this awesome procedure if I wasn't going to show it off? Before my operation I was buying mainly size 12 pants and jeans.

I just went to my favorite department store where you "Expect Great Things" and I did! I came out with several pairs of size 8 pants and jeans. Silly me I didn't try them on and a few were even too big. Thanks in part also to the running program I have been on (which I'll tell you about shortly) the thighs and calves fit great too.

Let's chat about the top. Several months ago, I talked about the trouble I ran into trying to buy a dress. The same still stands but now I know what to look for. With the large belts that are in style now it's not too difficult to pick out dresses. As long as they are tight around my waist, they enhance my figure. Clothes that just drape over my body actually make me look like I'm trying to hide a fat belly. Sticking with skirts and blouses provide an even more flattering figure. My favorite though, are tight jeans and t-shirts. That's what you'll find me wearing most of the time. I'm very comfortable in my new skin, and I think I look great.

But what about underwear, bras and lingerie? I can't wear big old t-shirts and granny panties to bed with my new body. I recently visited one of the very popular lingerie stores. I wanted to get a pretty bustier now that I have the "girls" to show off. I had my five-year-old daughter with me and she loved, loved, loved all of the sparkles and ribbons. As we walked through the store, she kept pointing at the displays, exclaiming, "Mommy you would look soooooo pretty in this one!" But the sizes only went up to 36C. After checking several, I finally asked one of the perky young girls. Her response: "Oh, I am sorry ma'am, but we don't carry them any larger in the store. But you can just get a size smaller it won't matter." Yes, Brittney, that's what I want, my glorious new boobies to hang over the top of the ultra-expensive bustier I will wear twice. No thank you. Needless to say, I was not happy.

I ended up at JC Penny's. Leave it to them to have a great selection of very cute bras and lingerie for ladies with larger tops. So don't be discouraged. Don't think you went too big. Clothes that fit are out there. You just have to know where to look.

Speaking of going too big, that's a question I hear every once in a while. "Do you ever feel that you went too big?" When I was doing my research, the complaint I heard most often from women who had had the surgery was that they didn't go big enough. That may have influenced my decision to go as big as I did. Maybe it was my husband's huge eyes when I tucked the implants in my bra that day so many months ago. Maybe I had just always wanted bigger breasts. Whatever the case, I am not sorry that I went as big as I did. I love the way I look and wouldn't change a thing. That said, there have been some negative consequences.

Who knew that I might lose some friends for having this surgery? "What? Really? You lost friends because of your breasts?" you ask. Yep. As hard as it is to believe, some women in my life have stopped talking to me or associating with me; and the only thing that has changed is my body. Well, maybe that's not true. My confidence has changed too. Either way, some ladies have written me out of their lives because of the change. I didn't expect any of my friends to discriminate against me, and I was sadly surprised that some of them did. I literally got unfriended on facebook from one friend. Her husband claims it was an accident, but I haven't heard from her since before the surgery. I can only assume that she was put off by my sharing my experience on facebook. Other women just don't talk to me like a friend. They are standoffish or look down their noses at me. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe they just don't like me, but I don't think that's the case. I really feel that there's true discrimination going on. The other day on Modern Family, Sofia Vergara's character complained about how hard it was to get the women at her son's school to respect her because they only saw her as "the hot one with the big boobies that is going to steal my husband." I'm guessing a lot of women didn't feel too sorry for her. Heck, I don't think I would have felt sorry for her before my surgery if I'm honest. I probably would have thought or said something jealous and sarcastic like, "Awwww poor baby – can't get the normal women to like you with those long legs and big boobies? You poor thing." So I can honestly say that I know where they're coming from. But if I could say one thing to those women (and the pre-surgery me) I would remind them that you shouldn't judge a person by their appearance, whether that's fat and ugly, or thin and big breasted. It's a good lesson either way. So if you're considering the mommy makeover – specifically a breast augmentation, be ready for some repercussions. It makes me sad, but it's the reality of the situation. Luckily, most of my friends have been great. And I figure those who wrote me off for altering my body maybe weren't that good of friends to begin with.

By the way, I'm certainly not without flaw in the "catty women" category. I have to admit I kinda like going to Hooters and putting some of those girls to shame with my girls. LOL.

"Do men treat you differently?" is a question I hear sometimes. Luckily my male friends have all been great. No one has really altered the way they interact with or treat me. There was some joking about my "enhancements" in the beginning – jokes I invited and encouraged. I was never shy about my surgery and my male friends knew I was okay with a little teasing. Overall, they don't treat me with any more or less respect.

Some men that I don't know, however, do treat me differently than before. Most don't, but on occasion, I get treated like I'm stupid. Yep. It's as simple as that. All of the sudden, because I'm thin and top heavy, I must be stupid. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive again. Maybe these men would have treated me like I was stupid before my surgery too. It could simply be that I'm attributing their behavior to my appearance. Anyway, I'm just putting this out there so you'll be aware that it's at least a possible consequence to the surgery. You know how I like to be thorough.

Another question that I occasionally hear from women contacting me on the blog is, "Did you keep the weight off?" I'm proud to say that the answer to that question is not only "yes" but "hell yes!" Admittedly, I have to watch what I eat just like I used to. I will occasionally over-indulge and feel that I may have gained a pound or two here and there. But I haven't stepped on a scale in over a year. I'm less concerned about my weight and more concerned about how I feel. If I feel like I'm gaining a little, I'll be more careful about what I eat. Or, believe it or not, I'll exercise. You heard me right. I love to exercise.

You've heard me say that I was athletic when I was younger, right? And that after having the kids, finding the energy to exercise was a chore. Well guess what I did in February. I ran a 5K! That's right. No way could I have done that a year ago. Was it the surgery that made it possible? Well no. When I first started training about five months ago, I could barely run a solid five minutes without stopping. So the surgery didn't make me healthier or more athletic. But it did inspire me to be healthier.

I downloaded the 5KCouch app on my phone and trained for four months. It gradually helped me increase my endurance and my pace and made it possible for me to run the 5K. And guess who else got inspired? My husband! He got on that treadmill three times a week and ran the 5K with me! (Okay, he had to walk a few minutes of the race but only finished a couple of minutes behind me – good for him!) I guarantee that we are both healthier today than we have been in probably ten years.

So for anyone out there that thinks surgery is the shortcut, it's so much more. For me it was more of a catalyst to better health. Going through all that pain, seeing my new body in the mirror every day, loving the way clothes fit . . . I don't plan on ever letting my body get away from me again.

There is one more question I get every now and then from the ladies that are brave enough to ask, "How has the surgery affected your sex life?" I'll be as candid as I can here while keeping things that are private between my husband I private, and keeping things PG-13.

Things haven't changed much to be honest. Don't hate me for saying this, but that part of our lives has always been really good. David and I make time for intimacy because it's important to our relationship. David never judged my pre-surgery body, so if I ever felt bad about myself, it was from the pressure I put on myself. Does he like the new body? To say yes to that question would definitely be an understatement. Yes, he likes the new body. And he likes the confidence that comes along with it. We nearly always have the lights on when we are together and he's very enthusiastic with his compliments, which makes me feel great, of course. For his birthday I even agreed to a boudoir photography session. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun, and David loves the pictures. We've agreed to keep 99% of them private, but I am publishing one (again, PG-13) here in the photo gallery of the book. As David puts it, "It would be selfish of us not to share." (blushing)

So there it is - my journey of getting back to me. Thanks for reading my story. I hope with all of my heart that if you are considering taking a similar journey, this book has helped you make your decision. I'd love to hear from you. Please visit me online at www.EmilysMommyMakeover.com where you can post comments and make donations to Breast Cancer Research.

With Love, Emily

Comment by Barb:
Emily –

This is great! I realize I am a little behind in the reading of your blog, but I am proud of you for making the decision that works for you and also the fact that you are sharing it with the world. You are awesome & I wish you the best in your journey.

I also appreciate your response to "Brinda." These decisions are personal & I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to comment in that manner. Funny, if no one is really interested in what you are experiencing, how the hell did she come across your blog? I am just a little curious on that one.

Take care of yourself and I will be watching the updates on your blog!!!

Comment by Kari:
Wow, Emily – this is awesome! You are one of the most beautiful people I know. You have a spirit that lights up the room. I agree with David, you are beautiful no matter what size.

BUT, I know how you feel. I've looked into this stuff before and want to do it in the future. For me, it's not about having a great shape, but getting back to myself. I put on a lot of emotional weight before babies and my body is not anything like it was. For me it's putting emotional stuff behind and getting back to the real me. I admire you for this endeavor and look forward to hearing how it all turns out. Never doubt your beauty though – you're one in a million!

Comment by Melissa:
Emily, You go girl!!!!I'm so excited for you! I'm so jealous and I'm gonna get me one of these someday! You are so brave to do this and post everything, I won't be doing that. I can't wait to see the new you.

Your co-worker in Iowa, Melissa

Comment by Stacey:
Emily,
It has been really cool to read your blog. I am 3 days away from my tummy tuck with Dr Hynes. I am quite scared! My husband and I have had a pretty emotional week! I even called Kim and Dr Hynes to cancel! I have to thank you for putting this website together. I get so much encouragement when I read about your experience!

Well, wish me luck! I report to the hospital at 6 am Tuesday!!! Stacey

Response by Emily:
Stacey,
Good luck! I'll say some prayers for you. You are in very good hands. Don't be scared. If your experience is anything close to mine, you will barely remember any fears or any pain when you're staring at your flat tummy in the mirror. It's so worth it. Please stay in touch and let me know how things go.